Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
