apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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