If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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