he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You made out with two different species that night
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
