I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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