I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
