my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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