What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
