i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize