I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
