Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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