News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
