Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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