Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
