on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
