stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I smell like Dick and happiness
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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