Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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