Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
