she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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