why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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