She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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