the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
