I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Dicks are not precious.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
