it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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