i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
