i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
