Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
