Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
