I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
