dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
