Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
