please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
