this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
