actually, I'm a sock model
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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