So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
is that a dick in a sweater?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
