I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
