Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
