I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
