Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Banned from zoo.
Again?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
