it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
