I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
