You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
