After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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