found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Randomize
