I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i don't like sucking hair
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
