Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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