Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
