so explain again why im purple
no
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
