so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
