oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
