both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
