just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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