Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
