This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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