You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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