there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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