You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
