your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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