Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
