The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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