I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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