So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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