I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize